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Avoid Screwing up the First date

When you call to make the date, don't tell her that you are 6'2 with an athletic fit only for her to find out that you are 5'5 and wear a 3XL.

Don't arrive 20 minutes late.

If you are picking up your date don't obnoxiously beep the car horn to inform her that you've arrived.

Don't wear an outfit th at looks like it belongs in another decade.

During the date, don't bring up your past failed relationships.

If you're out to dinner, don't order meals containing garlic or onions.

Don't forget your wallet, and half way through the date reach into your pockets and let your date know that they will be paying for meal.

In your loudest volume tell your date any racist, sexist, and trashy jokes you know and chuckle like you mean it.

Text message everyone you know throughout the evening including during the moment your date tells you about the recent passing of their grandmother.  Take every phone call without getting up from the table and describe to the person on the other end of the line how your date is going while you snicker and eye the individual you are with.

Don't curse, yell, or talk down to your waitress and especially don't decide that she doesn't deserve a tip.

Don't complain about how little money you are making, how you gained 15 pounds in the last couple of months, and how your mother keeps nagging you to call her more often.

Don't be pessimistic about the world, politics, religion and so forth. Do not express your views of life as a world full of pain and grief.

 Don't have a few too many drinks and start weeping.  Then don't jump from your seat and start dancing to the Macarena.

Don't criticize your date, make them feel insignificant, or give them dirty looks.

Try to pay attention.  Don't let your eyes drift to the attractive lady across the room while they are talking.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

 

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